i love my mom

I have long ago wondered about Muslim wives - how they feel about sharing a house with the other wives, sharing their husband's income, not to mention sharing the love, attention and bedtime hours of their man.

As having no Muslim friend, i just resigned to thinking that they no longer find it far-out since it's part of their culture; that growing up with something disgusting will not make you realize its disgust, therefore embracing it, loving it as something wonderful. Very much like the Roman Catholics with their idolatry.

Even a forum post about Muslims read:
"This disgusting to most woman, but not to muslim wives, they enjoy love making to husband with sex organ that is soiled and unclean after doing sex on his other wifes. This seem unclean and vile. Or is this just super sexy time for all wifes and one husband?"

But then a tv documentary on Muslim wives 2 nights ago changed my views. Not one of the interviewed women was happy about sharing husbands - the financial hardships, the jealousy among the wives... A Muslim man even admitted that it was normal to have a favorite among the wives. Such cruelty on mothers, don't you think?

Reminds me of my mom when she found out about my father's mistress. She was shattered it almost ruined her; almost ruined us. But when something happened to the mistress and my step-brother was left unattended in my father's office, my mom was ever so kind to bring my step-bro to our house. He only stayed for the day, though, but the idea of my mom bringing home a child of my father with another woman is so noble for me. She was crying at that time but her good heart remained for a helpless child. I guess that's the case with the Muslim wives - they don't like it but cannot do anything about it - especially when they are born and have been prepared with the idea of being just one of the many wives.

i'm a fan!

Pinoy BigBrother Celebrity Edition 2 opened last Sunday. I like Marylaine to win. I didn't know she was so talented aside from the fact that she's so sexy. Not that pretty, though, but pretty enough to be among the 26k of Deal of No Deal.

Oh, well, I guess boredom strikes. I'm glued to the tube again.

i don't wanna bore you with... knocks me off my feet

Why does the sea laugh, Mother
As it glints beneath the sun?

This verse of the poem The Sea by Natividad Marquez always comes to me whenever there’s an unanswered question in my mind. Why does the sea laugh, Mother? A child asks his mother about the sea and the mother answers him in the next stanza. I encountered the poem when I was in the 4th or 5th grade and I don’t really know why it sticks with me. I was not a very inquisitive child. Until now, whenever I have some questions, I would rather seek the books or the internet first before asking anyone for the answers. I’m close to my mother but I am not really the sort who asks questions unless it’s a matter of life and death.

It is thinking of the joys, my child
That it wishes everyone.

And it’s not that my mother’s not ready to answer questions. It’s more like I can’t say it. Perhaps that is why I like writing fiction and blogging. I’d rather put my thoughts into written words than say it out loud.

Why does the sea sob so, Mother
As it breaks on the rocky shore?

Ok then don’t go out with me. I’m such a bore.

It recalls the sorrows of the world,
And weeps forever more.

But this is not saying that all who blogs are like me. I know some talkative, flamboyant people who blog as well.

Why is the see so peaceful, Mother
As if it were fast asleep?

I used to keep a journal when I was in highschool up to before I learned about using the internet. My accumulated journals was a stack of notebooks and binder fillers i used to keep in an old gift box. There were about 9 notebooks and lots of binder fillers. I actually kept the box in a drawer of my old study table that my niece is now using (as she now has my old bedroom). Due to high risks that she might read it, I burned the notebooks last month. I actually re-read some before burning them, and oh boy, the worries of a child! I didn't really wanna get rid of them, but thinking that people might know my innermost thoughts and secrets through it (after I'm gone or even before that), I chose to burn them.

It would give our hearts, dearest child
The comfort of the deep.

5 hours of sleep and the bathroom mirror

There are days that I don’t really feel like going out, especially when I wake up in the morning and the bathroom mirror tells me I don’t look okay. I guess that’s the male counterpart of the female’s bad-hair-days. Like you can’t make the mirror say you’re okay no matter how hard you try to smile in many different ways – in my case, trying to smile like Sam Milby and Carlos Agassi to no luck.

This morning was one of those. It started with this light-headed feeling that lasted the whole day. I am so used to sleeping 5 hours. And the fact that I had my 8 hours the night before last shouldn’t be a problem at all. Then the bathroom mirror was so terrible that I wanted to buy a new one. I looked the same as when I looked at the mirror yesterday, by the way, but I really couldn’t point out what was wrong or different.

Then mom told me my light-headedness was due to lack of sleep.

Books tell us that sleeping 5 or less hours a night is unhealthy, will even increase the risk of high blood pressure. They have even put 5 hours under the “lack of sleep” category. I am not saying the books are wrong, but then what if I already feel okay after 5 hours and that sleeping longer than that makes me groggy? I really think this “lack of sleep” thing should vary from person to person; that it all depends on an individual’s feeling of “sleep satisfaction” or “sleep deprivation”, whether he had 8 or only 5 hours of sleep, that we can tell if he lacked sleep or not. After all, what’s not enough for Juan may already be good enough for Pedro.

In the case of the bathroom mirror, I don’t think it’s related at all with this lack of sleep issue. If my light-headedness this morning was due to sleep deprivation, I just have to state the fact that that mirror’s meanness had hit me even on the days that I had my 8 hours.

I’m definitely buying a new mirror on my next trip to the mall.

On other notes, here's a cellphone video of my friend Micoy (Michael Jinero Salazar) performing with his band. This was his last performance before he (temporarily) stopped being with the band to give way to his midterm and final exams. The video and audio are not so clear but i'm posting them, nonetheless.

a busy october

I should have known and prepared, October is such a busy month – physically, financially, and emotionally. I have high hopes on the financial part, though, because I ventured into another business. It made a bump in my wallet but like everyone going into a business, I’m expecting more in return.

And how timely it was when I turned on the tv this afternoon. It was tuned in to Knowledge Channel – I really wonder who last watched the tv – and the topic was the pros and cons of going into a business. Not that I’m still a newbie on this part but investing a big part of my limited money on something new makes me paranoid. The pros were the usual you’ll be working for yourself and you’ll be managing your own time thingies. And the list of disadvantages all sum up to this: what if no one patronizes your business. I was like awwwwwwww! I hope that doesn’t happen to me.

On the other hand, this article about small businesses is a great read: abc's of small business.

So the new business explains my physical and financial exhaustion. How about the emotional one? Well, this pic explains it best. I’m not an emo, though.

A cute picture although I have a feeling they are both guys. Oh, well, it's the message that counts. I feel that way right now, really. And if I have the will, I'll change Manila's location to Canada... next to Alberta.